Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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