Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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