So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I have feelings that need drinking.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
