hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
