every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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