I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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