I only kidnapped one of them. chill
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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