Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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