Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
