R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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