her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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