You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Rumble strips road head = magical
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
