Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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