If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
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super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
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I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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