it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
