The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
i need some magic done to my vagina
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
