those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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