I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
operation have a gay friend backfired
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
