what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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