What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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