I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
