Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
