You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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