Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
