Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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