fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize