i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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