he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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