you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just tell him i said nine months
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
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Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
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Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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