We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
