Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I can feel your judgement through the phone
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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