Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
