She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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