We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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