His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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