Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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