Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize