i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
