Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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