Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
