Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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