I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
