shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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