Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
