oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
