dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
