I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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