ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
