We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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