I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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