My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize