I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I am one with the molecules
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
