gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
