There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
