We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
