Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
