You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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