Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
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i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
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I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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